'It' being the girly spa weekend that I finally managed to sort out for five of my oldest friends. We're off on Friday and I can't believe it's come around so quickly after all the planning and faffing. There will be plenty more faffing before it's over, I know, but we're nearly there! I'm going to need to get my legs ready for the pool side, which I'm not so keen on but it's a small price to pay (plus the actual price...) for a nice facial and a massage, plus a good catch up.
Things at work are pretty mental at the moment so I really feel like a couple of days away will do me some good. It feels like I'm drowning a little bit in the amount of stuff I'm expected to take on at the same time, which aren't really compatible, and more than twice this week at least it's led to me looking disorganised and stupid and being on the receiving end of what feels to me like harsh words. I do recognise that I'm too sensitive to that, and it's dawned on me that it's mostly because I try so hard to impress people and get their thanks or appreciation that frankly anything less than that feels like a criticism. When that happens I spend a lot of time feeling pretty worthless and then try to justify to myself why it wasn't my fault. Which isn't really that constructive. I need to learn to recognised when something really isn't a failure, and move on.
On the other hand, I have had a few positive things this week. I finally met with someone from a charity looking for a new trustee and it was really exciting because they seem to be one of the ones who actually work hard to achieve something and make a difference. I'm meeting someone else this week so hopefully we can work out what I actually need to do, I'm totally new to this whole thing!
Now, because it's a lovely day, I think I ought to find something I can do outside. I've already cleaned the car (only the third time I've done it in three years of owning it - awful aren't I?) and done all the gardening things for this weekend so maybe I'll just sit outside and work on my socks for a while. Hope you're enjoying the weather too.
Things at work are pretty mental at the moment so I really feel like a couple of days away will do me some good. It feels like I'm drowning a little bit in the amount of stuff I'm expected to take on at the same time, which aren't really compatible, and more than twice this week at least it's led to me looking disorganised and stupid and being on the receiving end of what feels to me like harsh words. I do recognise that I'm too sensitive to that, and it's dawned on me that it's mostly because I try so hard to impress people and get their thanks or appreciation that frankly anything less than that feels like a criticism. When that happens I spend a lot of time feeling pretty worthless and then try to justify to myself why it wasn't my fault. Which isn't really that constructive. I need to learn to recognised when something really isn't a failure, and move on.
On the other hand, I have had a few positive things this week. I finally met with someone from a charity looking for a new trustee and it was really exciting because they seem to be one of the ones who actually work hard to achieve something and make a difference. I'm meeting someone else this week so hopefully we can work out what I actually need to do, I'm totally new to this whole thing!
Now, because it's a lovely day, I think I ought to find something I can do outside. I've already cleaned the car (only the third time I've done it in three years of owning it - awful aren't I?) and done all the gardening things for this weekend so maybe I'll just sit outside and work on my socks for a while. Hope you're enjoying the weather too.
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